The Friendship Cycle

I'll be honest, I am not, nor was I ever really good at friendships. Maybe it was because I tried too hard, I always acted like I thought I was supposed to and not like I was, or maybe I'm just too selfish to be a good friend. It was always easier to try and buy the relationship then to try and be what was needed. Plus I always got frustrated feeling like I put in so much work and got little in return. 

Stacey is behind me on the
left. I'll update the photo
when I find the original.

And it's been going on all my life. When I was little and living on an Air Force base in Florida, the street was full of kids to play with. And there was one girl, Stacy, who was my age and we spent a lot of time together. But as is life of an Air Force brat... you move, and followup has never been something I excel at. So bye-bye Florida, bye-bye Stacy. I was 5 at the time, so I guess not much was to be expected from that, at least we had a few good years playing Barbies and Strawberry Shortcake.

Then came the move to Connecticut and with it, multiple schools. In 1st grade I met Kirsten. Best of friends... at least I thought. But come 4th and school changes... we were no more. At least it was a couple good years. At the next school, I don't remember much, wasn't there long. Mom was desperate to get me into the magnet school my brother was in and by 2nd semester of 4th grade she succeeded. Yeah, it was a great school, but nothing worse than being the older kid and being known as your younger brother's sister. Shouldn't it always be the younger known by the older? But it was what it was and I dealt with it. That includes getting punched in the jaw by 2 boys on my first day. Yeah for middle school! Now the school was fairly small, only 2 classes per grade and you got mixed up from year to year... so everyone know everyone and for the most part we all got along. There were cliques, but they weren't anywhere near as bad as it is today. There was teasing, but no down right bullying. And I know about the teasing... I was normally on the receiving end.

While we were fairly friendly as classmates went, there was alway that best friend longing. I even went as far to use the whole "I'll be your friend if you'll be mine" bit with a new girl... and it worked... for about one grade level. Then she found her people and I finally found mine. But while we all seemed BFFs in school, there was very little outside interaction. Maybe a random phone conversation, someone would have the occasional party... but that was it. After graduations, we picked different high schools and that was that. Again no follow-up. Did manage to have a pretty sweet 13th birthday sleepover before we all parted ways, so those memories are there.

High School was pretty much the same thing. Teasing got a little meaner, but it was manageable. I'd almost gotten used to it. Expected it even. Sometimes it went a little to far, but isn't that part of the high school package? During those 4 years I was myself to a point... yes, I was crazy, animation loving white girl with the camera, but the rest of me was to be whatever it took to fit in. But I always had S. She was a true friend. To say we were BFs would be correct. We did things after school. We hung out, we talked, we shared secrets. There were a few others people I connected with, but between acts on both sides those bridges got pretty scorched. And it was at this stage in the game that the frustration started to set in that while I thought friendship was a two way street... I was finding it wasn't. Other than S, if I wanted to do anything with a "friend", I had to do all the work, the calling, the planning, heck half the time the paying. Not really what I though a friendship was supposed to be like. But hey, high school... the real world will be much better right?

Nope... same deal. Headed to college, roomed with S the first semester before scorching that bridge. And any bridges still standing from high school got totally burned to the ground, thanks to rumors and idiots. But all that... I'm over. S and I are FB friends, so I can see what she is up to. She looks very happy, looks very her, and I miss her like crazy. Maybe one day I should tell her that. But there is still a connection and that's what matters.

Now I have a point to all this rambling, and I'm getting to it now. The years 1995 through 2003. They were the best of times and the worst of times. I found a group... a group similar to the real me. No needing to fake it. But it didn't start out smooth... and I can fully admit that was my fault. I was annoying as heck. It wasn't that I was trying to be, I was just like an over excited puppy that pees on everything. I wanted so much to belong to this group. It took a bit of making up, but I finally was one of them. I loved them all, we did things together. Sometimes as a complete group, sometimes as smaller parts. And it was all good. Then the girls became crafting buddies and we did a lot of that. And we ate out... a lot. And we had some serious fun. We had a number of weddings and babies started coming. Families were being made. Time was growing thinner, but we managed. If not all the time, we seemed to always make time for birthdays. Times were good.

Then came the no good, very bad thing I did. It was bad. Fueled by a number of Mike's Hard Lemonades and a number of raw emotions - betrayal, sadness, loss, change, loneliness - it was horrible. I can't even remember the exact details of what went down... but the damage was great. I didn't just burn a bridge... I pour gasoline on it and watched it burn. Me on one side and the rest of the group on the other. It was the end of the good times. I'd say I'm surprised anyone even let me get behind the wheel of a car that night because I was a mess, but a crash would have been a fitting - and deserved - end to the evening.

Thanks to the power of Facebook, it seems a few have either forgiven me, or really never got involved, because we've reconnected a bit... not at all like it was, but baby steps. But I doubt after 10 years, there will ever be anything that can be said to repair the major break. And it sucks. But it was my fault. That night was also the last time I ever drank. As for photos of these years... as I mentions in my photo memories post, they are being passed on to those that forgave. 

Not sure if you'll read this, but I'm so very, very sorry. And I miss you everyday. We may never speak
again, but I think of you often. Thanks to pictures posted by a mutual friend, I can see that you look
very happy, very loved, and fantastic.

As for now, thanks to the internet, I have a few people I can call friends... but they live in different states, so we never see each other. We talk on an off, through texts and FB chat... but some of them are in rough patches right now, dealing with aging parents and their own health issues, so I keep most things to myself. If you were to ask me if I have a BF, my answer would most likely be my mother... which is good, but also has it's flaws. But most days it's just me and my cat, sitting in my room, hoping some more friends will appear in my garden of friendship.

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Memories...

And not all of them are always good.

Since I can remember, I've always had a camera in my hand. I loved taking photos of anyone that would let me and everything that was around me. When I was little I was a bit of a ham... loved having my photo taken. As I got older I became more behind the camera and but still enjoyed being in a picture. Until recently... packing on those extra pounds really makes you stay away from the from of the camera. But this post really isn't about photos of me... it's about the collection of photos I've gathered over the years.

With the digital age, it's easy to deal with a photo attached to bad memories. You can just delete it, or you could toss it in a file and bury it away. But printed photos. They just sit there, waiting to be framed or put in an album or if they are lucky enough, scrapbooked. And I am/was a scrapbooker. Used to be really into it, scrapping every little event. Now, if I feel like scrapping anything it's only pictures of high school or earlier, Disney trips, or maybe my childhood. That's it. Everything from 1995 to present day that isn't Disney related... I don't even want to look at them.

And there are many, MANY more photos than this. About 3 more boxes full.

That brings me to current emotional dilemma. What to do with years of photos, some which are actually painful to look at? See, a lot of pictures from `95 to about `03 are of mostly the same people. And a number of those people I am no longer friends with, but that's a story for another post. The short version is I pretty much suck as a friend. Thanks to Facebook, however, a few have reached out and we've sort of become at least FB friends, and maybe someday we can be back to the level we once were. Anyways, these people are for the most part still friends with the rest of the group. So, since I can't bare to toss a photo... I've been mailing the photos to them. I've kept a few that still make me smile. And sets I've asked them to pass on to those I've done wrong, I've removed all images of me. What happens to the photos when they leave my house is up to them. I just hope they find a place that brings more smiles than tears.

Oh, and I did get a little pyromaniac on a few of them... all ex-boyfriends and all not so great photos - blurry, closed eyes, stupid faces. I thought it would make me feel... I don't know, better? But it didn't. All it did was almost set all the dead trees around the old stone grill I used. I can see the headline now "Fire Captain's Daughter Sets Fire to Backyard Woods." Ugh, neither dad or I would ever live THAT one down! Thank goodness we still had piles of snow around... it makes a great fire extinguisher!   

Anyways... the reason it didn't make me feel any better? It's never been a problem with ex-boyfriends. There was always closure, no longer love. The problem is with ex-friends... people who deep down I still love and miss very much. That's were the hurt is. And it's a hurt I'm just either going to have to live with or move on... because it's been 10 years and I don't think mending the break is an option any longer. 

I can only work on the photos a little at a time, some because I just don't know if I should pass them on or toss and because a number of them... I don't remember what the memory behind the photo is. Not sure if it's selective memory, a side effect of 16 pills a day, or my one sharp memory is starting to fail. And after an hour of all that... it just becomes too much to deal with the frustration.

At least the postage of mailing on the pictures and having a mini bonfire cost is a lot less than a visit to my therapist!

The BlogHer `12 Aftermath

I am now 4 days post BlogHer `12. The manicure has started to chip, con crud is slowly creeping in, and the stack of business cards & info sheets loom over me begging to be dealt with. My head is swimming with ideas and things I wish I did different and longing for more time. To say I am overwhelmed is an understatement. And I have no idea where to begin. So, I guess I'll start with the easiest thing... telling you how it all went.

What seemed like months of planning all came down to a very fast 3 days. There was good. There was bad. And there was downright terrible. No amount of planning could prepare me for the event, even though I thought I have every possible detailed covered. Nothing like 5000+ people gathered together to quickly make you reevaluate at your plans. Since my head is so full of thoughts and crud, I'm going to just list it all out.

The Right

• The Buddy System - I cannot stress this enough... Laura was my saving grace. Planning to attack the conference with a buddy was the smartest move I made. From sharing a room, to getting the most out of sessions, and a sounding board when I just needed to talk things out. She was my rock. I knew Laura was a great friend... but this weekend clearly proved I don't get to see her or talk to her enough. I truly love her and value everything about her. And I couldn't have done the whole thing without her!

Don't Blink!

• Staying at the Sheraton - While this was more due to the Hilton being sold out, I am very pleased I ended up staying at the Sheraton. It was a quick walk from the Hilton and after reading the many, many complaints from those that stayed at the convention hotel, I have zero. No issues with the room, the elevator, the bill, or the staff. And it was nice to be able to leave the hub of the conference and to get away from it all. Though I will say I could have done without the Weeping Angel in our room... even if it was a perfect tribute for a couple of Whovians!

• The Sessions - Am I ever glad I attended the sessions that I did. I ended up going to all the ones I planned on and they were fantastic. I learned so much and came away with tons of things to do and think about. The one on Affiliate Marketing alone was worth the cost of the BlogHer ticket!

• The Private Parties - no matter what your feeling is on outboarding, the private parties were worth it! I only went to three, purposely selected for how they fit with my "brand". The connections I made, the info I collected, and the good times... totally worth it. And the swag was amazing! I can't wait to either review it or give it away! I got more out of these events than the expo.
• Free Wi-Fi - I had heard horror stories about convention wi-fi. It worked perfectly for me the whole day. It was great because my phone decided it didn't want to play nice.

Hasbro Party

• The Location - Who doesn't love NYC?! Nothing like a quick train ride to get to and from the action. Being a semi-local made a lot of difference for me because I wasn't also trying to cram in sightseeing as part of the event. If there was something I wanted to see, I can easily go back. It also help save on cost because I only need one night in the hotel and didn't have to deal with flying.

Our View from The Big Toy Book Event

The Wrong

• The Crowds - I just don't think the Hilton was meant to hold 5000+ people. To have to see people eating meals on the floor and having to wait 20-30 minutes for an elevator... well, your venue is overbooked. I hope next year there is a limit on tickets, because I don't know if I could deal with that many people again.

• The Geek Bars - These were a disaster. Disorganized, you couldn't hear sometimes because of the other sessions in the room, and sort of a waste of time. I did a Design Audit and would have rather seen a full session on just basic blog design tips than try to audit 8 people's sites in a 30 minute session... and not get to everyone. I'm hoping there will be some good follow up with the presenter, because she did seem to have a great grasp on the material.

• The Expo - This was so not what I was expecting. The booths I had high hopes were a bust and some I didn't think about visiting ended up being little hidden gems. The swag was fine, not better, not worse than what was predicted. Just different. It made it easy to pick out what was of use. I will tell you I ended up with 20 reusable totes, 35 coupons, and 7 pens... all which made my mom very happy. And the 7 flash drives will come in handy because I'm down to about 1GB of space on my laptop, which will be gone the minute I download the photos from BlogHer. Overall though, the expo was more trade show than here's how we can work together. I don't need a new vacuum or phone, I need to know what we can do for each other as a brand and a blogger. That was sorely missing. I wish I took the time to go to more sessions instead of spending so much time at the expo.

The best "swag" of the convention... business cards and information!

• Relying on Twitter - A bunch of things at BlogHer relied on Twitter. Entering contests, finding other people, catching news. I just didn't want to spend my entire time staring at a phone. Maybe I'm just not a tweeter, but I just didn't get why it was needed so much.

• The Pack Mule Effect - I just packed too much stuff I thought I was going to need. My hands were constantly full and I was seriously weighed down. I really wish I had a better phone or a point & shoot, because bringing the DSLR was a mistake. It was so bulky I barely used it. Between business cards and a phone and a camera and swag and handshakes and even Dalí, my hands were full All.The.Time. It was insane. And I'm never doing that again.

• My Confidence - Leaving BlogHer I feel my confidence in myself and my work a little shattered. I feel like I now need to do complete overhauls of everything I do. Full redesigns, different photography, different topics. In some cases I even feel like I might have to adopt a kid to be able to "compete" for the attention of some brands. Some of this feeling may come from being sick and completely exhausted. In a few days, after some meaningful online conversations, some connections made, and some information better absorbed, I should be okay. Just have to keep telling myself I am good enough, my work is good enough, and if people don't like me or my "brand", oh well.

The So Very Wrong

• The Heat - I hate summer... I always have. The sun is not my friend and if I never have to deal with heat & humidity again it'll be too soon. But it's August, it's NYC, it's expected. It wasn't like there was a massive change in the weather for me... I only live about 45 mins West of New York. But I didn't expect summer to be INSIDE the convention. From the crazy hot expo, to hot session rooms, to lots of bodies pressed together. I don't think there wasn't a time I wasn't hot and sticky. If I had thought about bringing enough clothes, or had the time, I would have showered a million times a day. Add to it that I was wearing jeans and a knee brace... it was not fun. If I didn't hug you, it's not because I didn't want to... it's because I was saving you from the hot mess that I was.

• The Food & Drink -  Ugh... food. My kryptonite. I love some kinds, hate most other. And this food was a bust. And because I relayed on the Hilton and private parties to get my meals... my intake was nowhere near where it needed to be and I paid for it by Saturday. I should have know that I would have food issues, and I even brought snacks... just should have planned for meals on my own. And while I get that BlogHer is trying to go green, those water coolers and little cups were not enough. I'm all for going green, but maybe in the swag bags there could have been refillable bottles, something more portable than a little plastic cup. And plastic cups? That didn't get recycled and no one used more than once. Not sure how "green" that really ended up being. I even had a water bottle I refilled and I just didn't drink enough water. Too many sweets and carbs and soda. Not enough of anything green or protein or of real substance. Not that there wasn't some of those options... it was just nothing I would eat.  

• Sparklecorn - This was wrong not for what it was, but for my expectations vs reality. I expected a lot of drinking and dancing and even some shenanigans, but it was so much worse. It was super loud, dark as night, and some of the behavior was shameful. But I really can't put that on the party goers. It is just not my scene, and while I'm not the most classy chick on the block... there was so crass behavior that caused my jaw to drop. I think I managed to stay 30 minutes. And even that was too long. I will say the cake was yummy... even if there is some disagreement on what the filling was.

• Blogger Time - While there seemed like there was enough time for everything, there just wasn't time to network with OTHER bloggers. Other than breakfast and maybe waiting in a line, there was no time to connect. You almost need to preplan to meet people. Lunch was paired with keynotes, so no speaking to each other there. And there was just no real place to sit. Only one or two seats in the lobby and none anywhere else. There were times when it would have been nice to grab a seat with someone and chat... other than the floor. 

Overall, I got a lot out of my experience. BlogHer 2013 is being held in Chicago and while I think I'd like to go, I really need to see what my return is on BlogHer 2012. I learned a lot of lessons, good & bad, and I'm a lot wiser in the ways of a blogger convention. I just really need to see were I can take it from here before I invest in another event... be it BlogHer or a different convention.

BlogHer 2012 Bound Pt. 5 - The Extras

One of the other big features of the BlogHer experience is location! This year it's in good old New York City! While this isn't a big deal to me, since I'm semi-local, it's huge for those that have never been! So many things to see and do. Where does one start? Well, if you do manage to find some time to do some sightseeing while in the city, here are some recommendations:

• Go shopping! 5th Avenue and Time Square have some amazing stores! Some of them are attractions themselves, like the giant ferris wheel in Toys R Us! And the windows along 5th Avenue are so fun to look at! Some of my favorite shopping spots: Lego, FAO Schwatz, M&M, Disney, and of course Toys R Us!
• See a show! New York City is home to the Great White Way! Make time to see a play! Wicked and the Lion King are must dos, and if you are a fan of The Big Bang Theory... Jim Parsons is currently staring in a revival of Harvey!
• See the sights! Rockefeller Center, The Empire State Building, Ground Zero, Central Park... all must dos when you visit the city. I'd tell you to see the Statue of Liberty to, but it's currently closed for repairs.
• Visit a museum! NYC is home to some of my favorite museums. The Natural History Museum, The Met, MOMA, The Guggenheim, Rose Planetarium... all great ways to spend a day!
• Eat! NYC has tons of restaurants to fit every kind of palette. Even the food trucks are highly talked about! 

I'm sure if you were planning on coming to NYC, you've done your research... that is if you can find time to leave the BlogHer world for a little bit. The best tip I can tell you about visiting NYC is a little research and planning can go a long way. Oh, and slow down... just enjoy the fact you are in one of the greatest cities in the world!

So of my BlogHer cohorts have also written about things to do while in New York City, so give them a gander! 

New York on less than a penny #BlogHer12
BlogHer `12 - Oh The Places You Should Go!
The ESC's Guide to New York City
NYC Food Experiences - The London NYC Gordon Ramsay
NYC Food Experiences - Peter Luger Steakhouse
NYC Food Experiences - Ippudo

And that's it... that does it for my series on BlogHer. I hope you have a great time and I can't wait to meet you all!

BlogHer 2012 Bound Pt. 4 - The Fashion

With all the BlogHer business and parties, one logically starts to think about fashion. The old "what do I wear" dilemma. Some attendees like to go all, with heels, dresses, fabulous tops. And full on cocktail attire for the parties. Others like to keep in fairly simple, with a nice shirt and pair of pants. Now me, being a jeans and sneakers kind of girl, dressing up is not something I look forward to. Luckily, it's not a requirement. Now I did get caught up in the buying a bunch of new outfits for the conference and I even pulled out my craftiness and made some accessories, but everything was done in my style. I even went as far as to make some outfits for Dali that fit the theme of what I was wearing. I didn't buy dresses or heels or even anything fancy. I went with the "this is me" approach.

When I started planning my wardrobe for the event, I did take into consideration that I would be representing myself and my blogs. I knew I would be meeting brands and pr reps and things needed to be professional. But I decided that I am my brand. If a rep didn't like how I was dressed than maybe they aren't a good fit for my blogs. So keeping that in mind I went with "geek chic" attire. Picked up some cute Doctor Who and Loki themed t-shirts, made sure my jeans were in good shape, and pulled out my favorite flip flops. I'll be neat, clean, and well put together... but in my way, not a high fashionista way. 

Dali's Thursday outfit.
We are going with a superhero theme.

I know there is nothing really special about jeans and tees, but where I think I really shine is my accessories! They are funky, geeky, and all lots of fun! On Thursday, with my Loki tee, I'll be wearing a POW headband that I received as a gift. This one to be exact. I also picked up this Captain America bracelet that perfectly matches the outfit I made for Dali! As for a necklace, I made this heart shaped Lego charm and hung it on a silver chain. I'm finishing off the look with a retro Pop Swatch watch that I've had since the early `90s. 

Dali's Friday and Saturday outfit.
Doctor Who theme.

For the rest of the conference, I'm going with a Doctor Who theme. I have three different shirts I plan on wearing between the 2 days. I created a 11th Doctor inspired bow tie headband and I've got a neat recycled record cuff to wear on my wrist. The cuff really isn't Doctor Who related, I just thought it was cool. Like bow ties are cool. And of course Dali got an outfit to match! An 11th Doctor bow tie and fez! I'll also be wearing the watch and Lego necklace for these two days. 

Both outfits are very me and very much what I am about, so I figured I was making a personal statement with what I was wearing. The reason I decided to wear flips instead of the standard geek foot wear of Chucks, is 1) it's August, it'll be hot, and I hate wearing socks when it's warm out. And 2) I don't find my Chucks great for lots and lots of walking. And if I received one piece of advice about BlogHer, it's wear comfortable shoes! Plus I'll be sporting a very fetching knee brace and my Teva flip flops are very comfy and surprisingly supportive!

I did, however, go a little "crazy" for one of the parties at BH. The Sparklecorn party is all about rainbows, unicorns, and glitter. So much glitter. Since me and glitter don't get along to well, I went with more of a shimmer to add some shine to my outfit. I'll still be wearing jeans and a Doctor Who tee... but I made an aqua and lime tutu to go with it. And I got some matching boas. I'm also thinking about replacing the bow tie headband with a pair of classic 3-D glasses, you know the red & blue ones, since my tee is the 10th Doctor sporting the same glasses. I packed them, I'm thinking about it, not sure if I'm going to go there. I'll decide when I get changed for the party. Dali also has a matching tutu and boa. And he might have a crown. Not sure yet... have to see if I have time to make one. 

So whether you go all out, go geeky, or go simple... make it your own. And remember... the clothes don't make the person... the person makes the clothes. And check out this post from Kate @ The Guavalicious Life... she has some great tips for dressing for BlogHer! BlogHer Boot Camp: Top Ten Fashion Tips

Happy Stylin'!

BlogHer 2012 Bound Pt. 3 - The Parties

Now that we've gotten the basics and the business parts of BlogHer covered, let's talk about the parties! There are two types of parties happening a BlogHer, the official and the private or offsite parties. The big difference between the two is the official parties are open to everyone with a BlogHer pass. The private ones are invite only, for the most part. Now, before I get into the actually parties there is one thing I need to mention, Outboarding. In simple terms, outboarding is a term used to describe a party that sort of latches on to a large event in the area. They don't sponsor the larger event, in the case BlogHer, but they do gain from having all these people come into the city to attend it. If you read the article I linked above, you see there is question if it is ethical for people to latch on to a bigger named convention and do on. I'm torn on the topic and don't really know how I feel. I want to support BlogHer in every way, but the opportunities some of these private events offer are really too good to pass up! Plus, it is NYC so I'm sure there are always events going on, but for the most part these private events are using BH to some extent. It's a toss-up. So I'm going to leave it up to you to make your own decisions about the non-BlogHer sponsored parties. Go with your gut. But also keep in mind you are trying to be the best blog you can be and sometimes a detour out of the main event might be what is needed.

So, on to the parties! BH is hosting a number of parties each night. On Thursday you have some parties to kick off the main event, including Serenity Suite, Evening at the Expo, The People's Party, and Queerosphere. Friday evening brings you some even wilder fun with Voices of the Year, Open Mic Salon, and ending with the most talked about party... Sparklecorn! And on Saturday, to close out the event they are even more wilder parties Come As You Are, Social Fiesta, and CheeseburgHer! The official parties I plan on attending are Sparklecorn, I mean seriously, rainbows, glitter, and a giant unicorn cake!? Add to that liqueur, glowsticks, and a lot of crazy dancing women in wild party outfits... It's going to be one out of this world party. Depending on how my Saturday goes, I'm hoping to stop into the CheeseburgHer party. This one features food by McDonalds (I think) and as the evening progresses people end up wearing paper bags on their heads as if the were in some crazy hamburger loving cult. Those are really the only two parties I think I'm going to be able to visit. My good buddy Laura is thinking of maybe going to the Open Mic event to see what that is about. I'd go with her, but this is where the private events start to come into play for me.

On Thursday night, I'll be attending Sweet Suite, a party hosted by The Big Toy Book. It's being held at Viacom studios, overlooking Time Square! And some of the brands that will be in attendance... Hasbro, Hexbug, Lego! Who could pass up a chance to meet Lego!? Not this brick loving freak! The whole night is going to be pure toy geek heaven. Perfect for a just starting out toy blogger like myself! I plan to stay the whole toy party, so I didn't even try to get tickets to the countless other events that night, like Social Luxe and Social Soirée. I wanted my night to be all about the toys.

© The Big Toy Book

On Friday evening, I managed to snag an invite to another toy party, this one all about Hasbro. I'm really looking forward to meeting the pr reps for this one because they aren't too far from my in NJ. There is possibility for future toy events in NYC or NJ, both very easy for me to get to! This was the only private event I picked up for Friday. I wanted to go to Sparklecorn, and I wanted to give myself a chance to enjoy each one instead of quickly running from one party to the next. That just seems like too much work for me and my jacked up knee. Maybe next year I'll be a little my daring in the number of parties I attend.

© Disney

On Saturday, I again only have one private event. This one is a movie premiere and cocktail party hosted by Disney. Yes, you read that right, Disney. Perfect for my Magic Family of sites wouldn't you say? The movie they a premiering is The Odd Life Of Timothy Green. Not 100% sure what it's about, but I'm always game for a good Disney family film. And Laura got into this event too, so getting to enjoy it together is a big bonus! I got other invites for this day, but I took a long look at the schedule and at my blog goals and ended up turning them down. I'm sure the free swag would be great, but the content wasn't a perfect match and I hated taking the spot from someone else who would get more out of it.

Now you are probably wondering how, as a newish blogger, did I manage to get any private party invites. It was pure luck. I was either in the right place at the right time, or I knew the right people. It's not hard to get the invites, you just have to know where to look. Most popular place - the BlogHer12 hashtag on Twitter. And join a group on Facebook about going to BlogHer. Those group members are a wealth of information! It's also who you know, who you've work with in the past, and how easy it is to find out about you, your site, and your contact info. If you are just starting out, you'll take a bit of a blow to your ego, doing a lot of "why wasn't I invited". It's not personal no matter how hard you believe it is. Just let that party go and move on. And if there is a party you want to go to really bad,  please for the love of Pete, do not beg, plea, whine, or spam the BH hashtag. It makes you look needy and desperate. And that's no way to come across to people you may want to work with it the future.

Enjoy the parties you got and don't sweat the ones you didn't! Party On!

BlogHer 2012 Bound Pt. 2 - The Business

In Wednesday's post, I told you all the basics of BlogHer. Now let's move onto the Business part of the conference. To be honest, this is the part that scares me the most. I am somewhat business savvy, but meeting with brands to rep myself, my work, is the terrifying part. I've never done it before. And really when it comes to my blogs, I don't even know the direction I want to go. It's leaving me feeling very unprepared. And I have about 2 days to figure everything out. No pressure at all. ;) Then there is the whole sponsor thing... but more on that in a bit.

When it comes to preparing for the business side of BlogHer, there are a few things you must have:

• Business Cards
• An Active Blog
• A Positive Attitude
• A Smile

There are other things, like media kits or cards, logo gear, or copies of you stats. But those are completely optional. Since I’m not sure what direction I want to go in yet, in terms of brands, affiliates, ads, and the like, I just went with some basic business cards. I did three different sets… a card for the 3 toy blogs,  one for the 3 Disney blogs, and a basic card for this site. The basic card also lists information on the other 6 sites… just for reference. I’ll most likely hand out the most cards for this site, seeing it’s the most me. I’m pretty happy with how my cards came out. Guess that graphic design degree is worth something.

Cards for the Toy Blogs - Printed by Moo Cards

The Land of Melted Clocks Cards - Printed by Uprinting

Magic Family Cards - Printed by Uprinting - Was going to add ribbon, but changed my mind

Dali
The Amazing BlogFox

The other thing I did was create a mascot for this site, something to help me stand out. I’ll be carrying a stuffed fox that I named Dali. It was my creative attempted at branding. Hopefully, I’ll become know as the cool fox girl… not the crazy chick with a stuffed animal. If you are going to be a BlogHer and want to meet Dali (and get free Disney stickers), just follow the hashtag #Dalishere on Twitter. I'll be tweeting his locations from the event.

The other major part of the business side of Blogher... and believe me, it's a doozy. Sponsorships. Getting a sponsorship can make or break BH for some people. When you add up hotel, registration, travel, etc... BH is not a cheap date. To be able to go, people will pitch companies to sponsor them. This might be in the form of cash in exchange for promoting the company at the event. It might be in ad sales for their site. Or it could even be products, like dresses, business cards, or bags. Anything to help defer the cost of going to BlogHer. Now, I sort of have a sponsor... Janet AKA Super Mom is sending me as a birthday present. Others have sponsors like Best Buy, New Trent, LifeLock, and every other kind of company you can think of. I took a chance and pitched one company for some product, but it didn't pan out. At least I tried. Next year I should be in a better position to try and get some sponsors.

When you do work with sponsors, there are a lot of pretty strict rules you have to adhere to from BlogHer, so be sure you do your research before you promise anything to a sponsor! And be professional! There are a lot of companies that have never worked with blogs and you don't want to risk giving your fellow bloggers a bad rap. And get a contract in writing if you can, I've watched a lot of bloggers have to cancel their trips because a sponsor backed out. And please, please, hold up to your end of the deal. Some companies already have a bad taste in their mouth for bloggers... we don't need a reason to give them an more.

This is just some of the basics. If anything it gives you some topics to take to Google to get you started on your research. I am far from an expert, but I am learning very quickly. Here are some links to other posts by attendees on how to prepare for the business of BlogHer for your reading enjoyment:

BlogHer Boot Camp: Top Ten Tips for Networking and Socializing
BlogHer `12 and Tom Bihn Sponsor Spotlight
Preparing Your Blog, as a Business, for BlogHer
How to Make a Quick Media Kit Using PicMonkey

Dear BlogHer Sponsors... They Don't Speak for Me

Prepping for BlogHer 2012: Business Cards
Conference Corner: 3 Things to Know About Blogging Business Cards
BlogHer 2012: NYC Conference Sponsorship

Good Luck!

BlogHer 2012 Bound Pt. 1 - The Basics

You may have noticed the little button over there on the right telling you I was going to BlogHer `12. Well, really it says I'll be geeking out at BlogHer `12... which is true. But what is BlogHer you ask? Simple put BH is 4500+ women and a few men gathering at the Hilton hotel in NYC on August 2 - 4 to talk about blogging, meet brands, learn some things, and party. And by party, I mean PARTY! That's the nutshell that is BH. But, I won't leave you with just that little bit of information, I have a whole series planned to fill you in on all the goodness... and anxiety, that is BlogHer `12. There are going to be 5 parts to this series: The Basics, The Business, The Parties, The Fashion, and The Extras.
So, let's talk about the basics. When I first planned to go to BlogHer, I was prepared for two days of events ending at 5 each evening. I was going to take a bunch of sessions, enjoy breakfast & lunch, visit the Expo, and meet fellow bloggers. I planned on taking the train in and out of NYC every morning and getting home at 7 both nights. Then I joined this Facebook group about BH. Well, let me tell you... I got overwhelmed very quickly! All this chatter about parties, official and private, meetings, sponsors, running around from place to place... it was all pretty insane. Then the addiction started. The craving to get invited to every party, every meeting, every event. It consumed me. But more on the parties in another post. Even the act of picking sessions became a task. Some required signing up before BH, others were open to all. And the topics! So varied and all so interesting! But there was only so much time in the day! Plus there was an Expo to attend, filled with sponsors waiting to hand out swag and make relationships with bloggers like me! It was all so much!

Finally, I sat down, studied everything, and made my plan of attack. I have goals for my blogs... I want to become a professional. I want relationships with brands so I can get things to giveaway to my readers! I want to make an attempt at getting an income! I want to be NOTICED! With those goals in mind and a detailed list of the purpose of all my blogs.. the schedule was born. What ended up being a small 2 day affair turned into 3 jam packed days, where come Sunday I think I'm not going to be able to stand! I feel I have a good mix of sessions, parties (both official & non-official), and lots of Expo time. And did I mention I get to do all of this with my good friend Laura, Editor-in-Chief of Enjoying the Magic and Owner of Tales From the Geek Vest? I'm just as excited to spend time with her as I am for the event! We even get to room together on Friday night, thanks to my mom insisting I not kill myself trying to commute back and forth to NYC!

My BlogHer schedule starts on Thursday August 2nd with a 7:45am train. From there I will be attend a non-BlogHer workshop all about photography held by Adorama. The topics I'll be learning about are: Developing your Unique Vision, 10 Ways to Make Your Photos Blogworthy, and The Power of Visual Storytelling. I'm really excited for these! From there I head to a Toy Party and then it's on an 8:35pm train home. Doesn't sound too bad, right?

Well, then comes Friday morning and the non-stop events that will have me on my feet for hours. I'll be catching the train at 6:07AM and the event starts off with a Newbie Breakfast. From there it's Speed Dating, 30mins in the Expo, a session on Brand-Blogger Connections, then lunch with Laura where we plan to talk a lot about Enjoying the Magic. The afternoon starts with a Blog Design Audit, lots more Expo time, and finally a break. Well, so far it's a break... events are still popping up daily, so who knows what will end up happening! The evening closes out with a private Hasbro event and the most talked about party... Sparklecorn! Sparklecorn is supposed to be a glittery, loud dance party with tons of  people in crazy outfits. Frankly, I'm a bit scared. But I joined in the fun and got some crazy accessories to wear!

Saturday kicks off with breakfast at 8am, followed by a session on Affilate Marketing. Then my favorite... Blogger Rights! Over an hour talking about copyrights and protecting yourself, I'm so excited! From there it's lunch, with guest speaker Katie Couric! Throw in some more Expo time, a session on Grammar, and a Disney movie event! And that's not even the end of my day! Sadly, after the movie I have to say goodbye to Laura, then it's off to two more parties, and hopefully a journey home on the 11:22pm train. I'm getting exhausted just typing this all out! And there is a ton of stuff I'm not doing! On Thursday, BH has two full day events... Healthminder and Pathfinder. And on Sunday there is a family day planned! As for non-BlogHer events... I only managed to snag invites for 3 events. There is probably a good 50 more I didn't get invited to or was waitlisted! Can you imagine my schedule if I did get invited to a lot more things? I don't think I would survive!

But enough of me rambling on about my plans for BlogHer, check out these awesome blog posts written by some of my fellow attendees:

The Basics
BlogHer `12 - Survival, Style and Street Food
Tips for BlogHer12 from Simply Frugal Mom (Guest Post)
Not Just Another BlogHer12 Post
BlogHer12: Seize the Moment
Top 5 Tips for Blogher
BlogHer `12: NYC
Blogher `12, Social Anxiety, and Being Pregnant
Blogher `12 Planning! Part 1 - The Romance & The Doom
Conference, Schmomference
Tips for BlogHer `12 New Attendees

The Tech
10 Tips to Help Safeguard Mobile Devices #Blogher 12
Must Have Apps for #Blogher

The Hotel
BlogHer Bootcamp: Top Ten Tips for Roommates

The Packing
BlogHer Bootcamp: Top Ten BlogHer Conference Packing Tips
Made in USA Packing List: Ten Travel Essentials
Heading to #BlogHer? What to Pack!
Traveling Essentials: Geek Style

The Emotions & People
Adaptation
Blogher Anxiety
The Top 10 Faces of BlogHer
8th Annual BlogHer Conference Will Host Katie Couric and Martha Stewart as Keynote Speakers

Now there are hundreds of more posts on the internet about going to BlogHer, so if you want to learn more hit up Google or follow the #BlogHer12 hashtag on Twitter. And I'll share more links in the rest of my posts in the BlogHer `12 series!

Got a post you want to share that I didn't link up? Post it in the comments!

Happy BlogHer  `12!

A Party in Wonderland

As I had mention in my past couple of posts, I was going to an Alice in Wonderland themed party at my good friend Yvonne's house. Well, let me tell you... Yvonne knows how to throw a party! The decor was amazing! The food was insane! And the cake... omg the cake was beautiful! Unfortunately, Mother Nature didn't get the party invite and decided to rain like crazy most of the evening.

Here are some photos of the weekend:

Me and Yvonne showing off our crazy hats!

The Food! All in mismatched dishes and bowls with lots of Eat Me toothpicks sprinkled among the munchies.

Radishes cut into the shape of mushrooms! How cute are they!

The cake! Done by HS Cake Designs in Maryland. Too beautiful to cut in my opinion!

The birthday girl modeling some of her great Alice in Wonderland themed gifts.

It was an incredible weekend full of fun, fantasy, and lots of food! Check out more photos on my Facebook page!

The Aftermath

More on the party when I get home from Maryland!

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A Guest of the Mad Hatter

Yesterday I showed you a picture of a project in process. Today I'll share the finished piece:

The other side:

Now I'm sure you are wondering where one would wear a hat like this... it's not Halloween and the Kentucky Derby has past. Was I invited to a Royal Wedding? Nope... to my sister from another mother's Alice in Wonderland themed birthday party. It's going to be one giant tea party/wonderland/crazy event. The invite said all must wear a hat. So being the crafty person that I think I am, I made one. I've named the butterfly Absolem after the caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland and picked feathers that matched my dress. Hopefully tomorrow I'll have some photos of the party to post!

It's the little things...

A couple of weeks ago I received this photo via a text message from my friend Mike.



Now to most people this is just a picture of a guy. To me... it's love, it's friendship, it's special. This photo is of my friend Brian, on his vacation to Walt Disney World, pressing pennies for me. Pennies I mentioned needed back in December for an art project. Brian has had a few rough months, yet he remembered my silly, generic request. And Mike was thoughtful enough to take a cute picture and send it. The guys might just think they were just having fun, but to me.. this is friendship. This is happy. This is one of those moments that make life worthwhile.

This photo made my day and I now smile every time I look at it.



p.s. Hi Laura! I know you had a part in all this too! Love ya!