In my "An Absence Explained" post I mentioned about some self inflicted Xs on the top of my right foot. I made the Xs on March 8th, the day I entered the hospital. I also mentioned that those Xs have meaning. Now it's time to explain.
X can mean many things, it can mark the spot, it can mean a
kiss, or the number 10. But that's not what it means to me. To me X is a
reminder, a reminder of just how close I came to ending it. I was lucky that
the logical side of my brain kicked in and stopped me. But I was on the brink.
As for the number 2, well that means 2. So... two Xs, two
attempts. Two moments of absolute desperation. I now see those two Xs every
single day. The Xs made the afternoon when I knew I was about to get help. It's a daily
reminder of just how close I was.
 |
| Taken March 26th, 18 days after I made the cuts. It is going to scar, so it'll be a permanent reminder. |
So, now I have a message for you, you that are on the brink. You
that are about to cross the edge. One, you are not alone. You are not weak and you
are not a coward. Get help. Parents, family members, doctors, and best friends
are good places to start. If you don't think you can talk to them.... then make
a phone call. Click on the image below and you will be taken to a Wiki that is filled with information on national and local groups that are there to help you. Seek help and you will find it.
Let logic and reason be your guide. People will miss you, people
love you, people want you around. Give people the gift of you.
Disclosure: International Suicide Prevention Wiki has nothing to do with this post, I just think they are a great resource.
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